Ramadhan Is Here Again... Alhamdulillah

Ramadhan always reminds me of my late father.. he left us exactly 10 years ago this month. How fast time flies, I can still remember how I sat by his grave and wept like a lost child. Sad, lost, sorry, regret.. all jumbled up inside me and I have no words to best describe how I felt that morning. My dress was soaking wet with my tears and sweat as I sat there by his grave till noon.

How I wish things were different then but I truly believe that these are all His plans for me. After I graduated, our lives caused us to drift away from each other. We were busy within our very own circles and I only saw him once or twice in a month. When he was sick, he stayed with me and I looked after him for a few months before he left for KT in early 2015. That morning before he left my house.. was the last time I saw him before he fell sick again... the last tine I saw him before he left us for real. Being bad in saying good byes, I tried to look away when he stepped out from my house... I wish I acted differently then, but of course... it is just a WISH. For some reasons, I didn't get the chance to see his face for the last time... and his body had been buried the moment I landed in KT... and that left me with this 'unfinished business' feeling since then. A feeling that sometimes caused me to cry inside .. because if I really said goodbye that morning, maybe I don't feel that bad now.

I know my father wasn't a perfect father, but I know he loved me and cared for me well while I was growing up. I miss him a lot. Al Fatihah.

Comments

adii said…

Nice blog you have here, giving me insight about your multiple talents.

Monday, July 20, 2015

NAH said…

thank you

Thursday, July 30, 2015

To Be or Not To Be

Deadlines were over…. Yesterday was my last day here…. And today marks a whole new beginning of my career life here….. I could be wrong or I could be right for making this decision… but I’ve made up my mind to take up the challenges, nonetheless. I know I’m subjecting myself to a lot of hardwork as well as criticism, scrutiny and observation from the rest……. and time definitely has to be compromised. But being a risk taker…. I am, I know I just have to pull myself together and face the obstacles - one at a time. It’s too late to undo things anyway and the best thing to do is to be positive. Both legs are in and it’s time to march towards the horizon with pride and dignity. Only time can answer the doubts that I have in me now… meanwhile, I need all the luck that I can have.

Angels - Mission Possible...!?

Last week was a week full of excitement for me. One, because I was busy with my work, so the week went by faster than usual…. (meaning: less time spent on ‘termenung’ & missing my husband); Two, my hubby dearest was scheduled to arrive on Friday night (3rd March 2006), the more reason for me be thrilled and eager counting the days; Three, me and the rest of March Angels ( Leilanie & T. Ina ) planned to meet up on Friday (3rd March 2006, also) to celebrate our birthdays and Leilanie had this fantastic idea of challenging ourselves to find gifts for the birthday mommies (and the gifts must cost less than 10 bucks each!) – and Leilanie, I must tell you that this challenge really made me sweat all afternoon on Thursday….. hehehe …and Four, me & my husband (and also the children) planned for a weekend getaway to Cyberview Lodge Resort & Spa on 4th & 5th March 2006. There I said it…..nothing much to say about point One & Two…. but point Three and Four…..definitely!!!

It was Nik's Birthday

It was my husband’s birthday yesterday and we took the day off to ‘merewang’ while feeling young, kononnya. The theme of the celebration? Reminiscing the days when we were courting back in 1993 minus the snow.... ancient sungguh rasanya! We had our breakfast at O’Brien’s early in the morning and took a slow stroll along the shops in OU and enjoyed every minute of it (at 10am in the morning, mind you, and the shops were barely opened). Later we watched ‘Lake House’ and we were charged RM12 only for 2 tickets (the early bird tickets were so damn cheap, I almost fainted!). There were only a few couples inside and we took the opportunity to sit right at the middle (ikut suka hati), since the theater was quite empty. How was the movie? Hmm… ok la, I would say it was the right movie for the occasion… hehe. A bit slow though, biasa la, romantic piece. The ending part was quite ‘touchy’ and yes, Mr Reeves was so stunningly handsome (oh yes, nampak tua sikit la and still got the looks).

Of Heart and Mind

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