I was driving to work and listening to the radio this morning when a topic discussed by the DJ caught my attention.
The DJ was interviewing a psychologist from Sunway Medical Centre and the topic was – Why forgive and forget when you should forgive and never forget. Of course they had callers calling in (mostly women) saying that they always forgive but sometimes never forget – I raised my hand in the car to show my support…. Hahahha. And all the time we have people telling us to forget about the past so that you can start new with your journey.. etc etc..
But this psychologist said that what we should do is not to forget what we had forgiven. History repeats itself and soon, we’ll be at a junction thinking … oh, this happened to me last time, now what should I do to handle this so that I will not face the same problem… or what should I do to ensure that the problem does not happen to me again? So to him, it is important to remember the past…
As for me, I used to be a hard headed person (maybe I still am) – I’m sure Nik will vouch for me, but over time, as I mature, I learn to overcome my emotions better than last time. Yes, maybe not good enough but I am trying to improve every day. I will try to tone down once I come to terms with my own feelings and emotions – and toning down sometimes take 2-3 days….. hahahah…. so typical of an ARIES, full of emotions eh. Anyway, I forgive easily now and sometimes I do try to forget – its quite difficult when you forgive but you don’t forget because you will keep on going back to that episode and you feel upset. So slowly I also learn to forget, and yes, I can assure you that it IS difficult.
So is the doctor wrong? Well, it depends on an individual. It works both ways as long as you are clear of what you want at the end of the bargain. The feelings and emotions of a person called WOMAN is so complicated that we sometimes are not sure how to explain and sometimes our attempts are being misinterpreted. We can say YES but at the same time we meant NO… we will TELL you about our problems but we don’t want solutions, we only want you to LISTEN…. We will tell you to go when all we want is for you to stay…. The list goes on.
The DJ was interviewing a psychologist from Sunway Medical Centre and the topic was – Why forgive and forget when you should forgive and never forget. Of course they had callers calling in (mostly women) saying that they always forgive but sometimes never forget – I raised my hand in the car to show my support…. Hahahha. And all the time we have people telling us to forget about the past so that you can start new with your journey.. etc etc..
But this psychologist said that what we should do is not to forget what we had forgiven. History repeats itself and soon, we’ll be at a junction thinking … oh, this happened to me last time, now what should I do to handle this so that I will not face the same problem… or what should I do to ensure that the problem does not happen to me again? So to him, it is important to remember the past…
As for me, I used to be a hard headed person (maybe I still am) – I’m sure Nik will vouch for me, but over time, as I mature, I learn to overcome my emotions better than last time. Yes, maybe not good enough but I am trying to improve every day. I will try to tone down once I come to terms with my own feelings and emotions – and toning down sometimes take 2-3 days….. hahahah…. so typical of an ARIES, full of emotions eh. Anyway, I forgive easily now and sometimes I do try to forget – its quite difficult when you forgive but you don’t forget because you will keep on going back to that episode and you feel upset. So slowly I also learn to forget, and yes, I can assure you that it IS difficult.
So is the doctor wrong? Well, it depends on an individual. It works both ways as long as you are clear of what you want at the end of the bargain. The feelings and emotions of a person called WOMAN is so complicated that we sometimes are not sure how to explain and sometimes our attempts are being misinterpreted. We can say YES but at the same time we meant NO… we will TELL you about our problems but we don’t want solutions, we only want you to LISTEN…. We will tell you to go when all we want is for you to stay…. The list goes on.
Comments