Of Heart and Mind

Lately, i feel so huge and ugly that I can hardly see ME on the mirror..... Exactly how I feel....   HELP!!!!

without me realizing, my last post was in November 2013.  and today is March 6, 2014. OMG! 2013 was like.. came and went so fast and it's already 2014 now.  what ever happened to Jan-Dec 2013??? last year was a very challenging year for me... my skills & my patience of being a mom for more than 16 years were put to test.  i have always thought that raising a daughter will be hard, but what happened proved me wrong.  and so i've learned my lesson, though the hard way.  but as my friends always put it to me, He will never test you beyond what you can bear.  for all it's worth, we all learned from each other's mistake and become better persons, Alhamdulillah.   Naqeeb is in Year 8 now and Nasreen is taking her SPM this year... and Mama fells like walking on thin air.  there will be more crazy, suspense-filled moments this year, i can bet my  fav-bundt-pan  bottom dollar on that! .... any takers, yo? as for me, 2014 started wonderfully for me.... i've ventur

My husband had been asking me to bake this ever since like..... foreva!  Because I was afraid of yeast, I used to ignore his request... hahaha! Until I bumped into this at  Allrecipe  .. all I can say is.... it's worth a try.. definitely!  I made this 3 times already and they turned out good every time.  So... LET's! I added some variations to the original recipe... check out the notes below. For cinnamon dough: 2 packs yeast (11g each pack) 1/4 cup warm water (not too hot or you will kill the yeast!) 1 1/2 cups buttermilk (I used plain yogurt) 1/2 cup vegetable oil 4 1/2 cups plain flour, sifted 1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp baking soda Filling: 100 gm butter, melted 1 1/4 cup brown sugar 2-3 tsp ground cinnamon Topping: 250gm cream cheese  1/2 to 1 cup icing sugar, sifted  1 tsp vanilla essence (Beat all ingredients on high speed until smooth and creamy) Preparing the rolls: Dissolve yeast in warm water until foamy - leave for about 10-15 minutes.  In a small

Home made doughnut has always been my fav kuih... I can say no to Dunkin' Donut or JCO and the likes ..... but soft, home made doughnut covered with castor sugar will melt me anytime. Since i am now sooo in the mood to make kuih that uses yeast - partly because i love to see the foam when you add warm water to the yeast.. and also to see the dough rises - i thought why not I try this one out.  After I did some research (ha! ha!), I finally found one recipe from Azie Kitchen  sometime ago and I have been keeping it like forever... I have never tried it because yeast and knead used to scare the hell out of me! Anyway, I was so bored today and since it was tea time.... I decided to make some doughnut!  I ran through the list of ingredients to make sure I have them all... yes, you don't want to be soakin the yeast only to find out that you don't have enough flour... ak-ahh! OK, all checked. So.. LET's! 11gm (1 packet) of yeast Soak with 200ml warm water (not too ho

i feel so pooped! I need my afternoon nap!

It was raining cats n dogs today and by the time i reached home it was already 8pm! Sigh!  I really  hate it when it rains in KL... like it's a guaranteed sign that you will be stuck on the road with feet going numb, tummy starting to growl and all you have is the DJ on the radio to keep you entertained.  If you are lucky, you'll get to listen to your favorite songs. There's so much going on in the office and they sucked out all my mood this week.  So today as soon as I got home, I reached out for my loyal friend in the kitchen.... my cake mixer... hee hee hee I've been saving this recipe for so long and it was time to give it a GO.  I never fancy sugee cake but I just love trying new recipes... it gives me a good feeling once the aroma of the baked cake fills the air... and the feeling when you take a bite of the hot-and-fresh-from-the-oven-cake.... priceless! So here goes... SUGEE CAKE  250 gm butter 230gm – 250 gm castor sugar (I used 230 gm) Cream th

Colorful cupcakes , a photo by Naz - Mad About Cakes on Flickr.

life has its ups and downs.   there's no such thing as perfect lives...  some days , you just have to create your own sunshine and smile while you're at it. take a chance, go where the wind will take you, dance to your music and live your dreams. for life is meant be lived, not grieved, enjoyed, not endured. it takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow... so slow down, take a deep breathe and enjoy every single minute of your life.  

Of late, i find myself wanting to bake something that I have the least interest in, not until these last few months ... like baking traditional kuih or cooking dishes that are not even on my cooking list.  I guess age is catching up on me that I am starting to cook what my mom used to cook ... :0 Last nite I was so bored that I started flipping my 'Saved Recipes - Not Tested' folder.    These are collections from so many sources ...  my friends, cousins, food blogs, magazines, etc.  Then I came across this recipe and I thought the steps are quite simple.. in a dash, I was already in my lil' office preparing the ingredients.  I like this kuih and this is my second time trying.  The first one was not at all successful :(   Anyway, you will need the following ingredients to make this nice Kuih Bakar Pandan: A 10-15 pcs of pandan leaves  2 cups water Blend these two ingredients and sift to get the pandan juice.  Take 1 1/2 cups of pandan juice.  Set aside. B 2 cups

they say i live life to the fullest but... they don't know what i went through to be here

I simply love pasta... any kind any shape.. well, who doesn't, right? This is one of my fav dish... yup, it's because i like to eat it, but above all.... it's the simplest dish to prepare :) For pasta, choose your fav pasta and boil according to the instruction on the packaging.  I always use either fussili or penne. Meatballs 500gm lean minced beef  (season with salt n pepper) 1 egg 1/2 cup breadcrumb  1-2 tsp dried herbs (parsley or oregano) Olive oil (to fry) Mix all ingredient (except olive oil) and make sure all are evenly mixed and well blended. Shape up the minced beef to make medium sized meatballs.  Heat up your frying pan (medium heat) with 1 tbsp olive oil.  Fry the meatballs just enough to dry 'em up on the outside.  Do not stir vigorously, otherwise you will break the meatballs apart.  But this is optional (the frying, I mean). You can straight away toss the meatballs into the tomato sauce without frying. Tomato sauce 1-2 garlic, pounde

The Sailor...  The aftermath of PRU13 continues.... PRU13 saw a big chunk of voters came out and voted for the first time on Sunday... and this Voters-Tsunami went across racial boundaries.  Analysts were saying that approximately 3mil out of total votes last Sunday were derived from First-time Voters (who are mostly below 35 and hailed from urban areas) and majority of them did so for the sake of BN's opponent (Nope... Yours Truly is not part of the statistics because I exercised my right for the second time already). Some statistics that I managed to pull out yesterday:  BN polled 5,237,699 votes for the federal seats while Pakatan Rakyat parties’ combined managed to pull 5,623,984 votes The PR pact also surpassed BN in the state seats, scoring in 4,879,699 votes in comparison to BN’s 4,513,997 votes. The voting pattern this year showed BN grew weaker than before in terms of total votes (BN vs Opposition) – analysts were also saying that this is an indication o

It's been a month since New Year and I haven't been updating... Lazybone! So it's already February, 4th of Feb to be exact... In 2013. Happy new year folks! And yes, that hot bod wishing you a fabulous 2013 will be in my list of new resolutions.... Ho! Ho! Ho!

Today marked our 16th year together. Thru sunshine, thru rain... thick and thin.. you name it... we've been there. It's true what people say, the bigger the number is, the bigger the challanges you face.  I have been to a point where I almost gave up, but He knows best.  I am still here and today I am proud to say that we've travelled this far together.  More reason for us to be there for each other. A small celebration, we had a quiet dinner after work, exchanged gifts and we were back home at 11pm ... well, after being harassed by my daughter with questions.... "where are you going after work?" "what are you having for dinner?... where?" "is it far?" "what time are you coming back" hahaha... well, I'm truly blessed to have this family, thank you Allah! Happy 16th Anniversary MrN. p/s thanks to Mawar who helped me choose the gift for him, and also for the BIG discount I got from this shop . .. to have, to

It's Saturday and this is the second week we spent the day indoor.  Naqeeb is still 'recuperating' .. hahah so we decided not to go anywhere until he is fully recovered.  That will be 2-3 days more.... ouch!  Can't wait!  Hobbit the movie is waiting for me.... huhuhu Anyway, I was on my lazy mode today and decided to cook something simple for dinner.  Actually. not really dinner because it was just only 5.30pm when we had our meal this evening.  I made Shepherd's Pie today, so let's see NAH's version of this pie. Filling: About 500 gms minced beef (you can use minced lamb if you like) I added about 100-200gms beef (thinly sliced).  Make sure you buy good quality beef, otherwise you will be chewing forever. 4-5 cloves garlic (whole, pounced) 5-6 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 1-2 tsp brown sugar 1 beef cube 1-2 tbsp olive oil (to fry garlic) 1 cup water 2  tbsp corn flour - mixed with 3 plain water salt to taste ** you can add sliced mushrooms and

Suddenly i realized that it's already December ... haizzz... where was I? I'm just gonna share with you what I baked tonite... it was a busy day for me but I've been wanting to bake this for sooo long... and tonight I did it.   Such a nice cake, great recipe - definitely a keeper.. thanks to Betty Crocker... hehehe but I added some stuff in, just to add a little bit of taste.  Let's chekidout! For pineapple layer: A 70 gm butter 50 gm brown sugar 1 can pineapple (round) 5-6 fresh cherries Melt butter in an 8"x8" square baking tray - I just left it in the pre-heated oven for about 5 mins.  Then , take the tray out and sprinkle the brown sugar over butter - make sure it is evenly sprinkled.  Arrange pineapple and put the cherries (halves) in the middle (refer to pic below).  Set aside while you prepare the cake batter For cake batter B 1 1/3 cups plain flour 1 cup sugar 75 gm butter 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 3/4 cup milk

october has not been nice to me. my loves, elvee and c-kay left me ... for good.  RIP my luvlees.... remembering how it happened made me fall apart all over again.  8th Oct - we found elvee dead in his cage, 'brutally murdered' ... by human, well, that's what we chose to believe, looking at the crime scene.  we reported the case to the guard, but there was no sign of break ins. c-kay was left in his cage, alive but badly injured.  he survived 4 days, and eventually left us on 12th oct, just a few hours after i came home from office :'(  i guessed he waited for all of us to be back.  we carried him to the vet because he looked very weak but died on our way there, right in Nik's arms.  of course i cried and for a moment, i felt lost.  we burried him the same night right at the corner of my garden so i can see him everyday.  in fact, that's what i've been doing ever since.  not a single day passed by without flowers on his grave. we sure miss u a lot, c

I never thought that I could crossed that finishing line….   if not the his words of encouragement, or could be the lack of it. Hahaha… Both of us registered for the run some months ago before he was diagnosed with severe back problem that resulted in him not being able to run like he used to.   That left me alone…. in most of the events that we planned to participate. I didn’t prep myself much, only 1-2 runs one month prior to that event.   Felt like giving up because I didn’t know what’s coming.   It was my 1 st run for Half Marathon and my mentor had to stop running for health reasons.   Yes, that somehow demotivated me… what if I couldn’t finish the run?   What if I needed to stop halfway? A lot of WHAT IFs lingered on my mind that I almost decided not to participate. Me & Sha Well, to cut the story short, I went anyway… Sha and Aziz gave me a lift to Dataran merdeka and Nik was supposed to meet me there after my race.   So there I was alone in the 21km categ

I deserved much more for the sacrifices I made, but I learned that life is not fair, and neither is love....   Amandah Fleming 

 I love my fried chicken wings! ... sometimes we just have only chicken for dinner, and nothing else. The boys will be eating these will all their fingers, no rice, no salad.. nothing. Let's see how these are made. 6 pcs chicken wings, washed and cleaned 3 tbsp marmite (or you can use Bovril) 2 tbsp osyter sauce 1 tbsp soy sauce (sweet) 1-2 tbsp honey black pepper pinch of salt cumin powder last but not least....... cups and cups of TLC.... hehehhe   You can also use Bovril.... and leave the chicken for a few hours before you fry them   Mix everything and marinate chicken for 1 hr or so. Fry and serve hot.  Yummy!